Athena Grey

Quiet yet energized

2009-11-03T16:06:07Z

I feel much healthier now that we are back on Standard Time. I am not a morning person by nature, my thoughts dragging along an hour or two behind my lark-tempered companions. I cannot knit lace in the morning. I drift off into random parts of the pattern, thinking that my fingers know what they are doing. They do not.

Right now, it feels like the world has slowed down and waited for me to catch up.

I am ready for this quiet time, although I am not prepared in the traditional sense. I am sitting in the heart of the spiral, wondering and waiting. Usually I carry a question or a point of focus with me. Sometimes I find it on the way here, through dreaming or meditation. This year, I am here in patience, willing to wait, to dabble my fingers in the pool that gathers around the bubbling spring, waiting for Her call. This kind of waiting is not passive. My senses are all as engaged as they would be if I were active. I am not coiling tight with frustration. It's hard to explain, but it is peaceful and restorative.

Wouldn't it be interesting if all I am meant to do is wait in peace?

Samhain approaches

2009-10-30T19:40:14Z

The deepest quiet time is about to begin, and as is often the case, I find myself being pulled between where my thoughts are going and where my obligations lie.

I want to wrap myself in a warm, dark shawl and sit at the roots of an old tree, a single candle to guide my thoughts until I am ready to pinch it out and savor the dark night.

Others expect me to be someone else, the quiet and efficient woman who bakes apple pie, makes tea, and creates a space where we gather to honor our fore-mothers. I must be priestess to others beside myself. Then, I will take time to be priestess to myself.

Lucy calls me. Lucy the elder. Jeremiah's wife who lies buried in that small family cemetery in the woods. I want to welcome her, let her know that she is remembered, and to honor her. What was it like to live in an isolated mountainside community, too far from the sea, too far from home? What was it like to be handed from father to husband? To be buried without her maiden name? If I am strong, it is because of women like Lucy who shaped my family.

The Grey women have always made pots of tea and done what needs to be done. Tea will get me through baking apple pie tonight, and all that the days ahead require.

Blessings!

a slender branch, high up in the family tree

2009-10-15T15:24:00Z

As I follow the quiet spiral into the long nights of the season, I find that I am deeply aware of the presence of my ancestors, my long line of fore-mothers. I am fortunate to know the names of many of my fore-mothers, and just this week, I found another name.

I am Athena*,
Daughter of Jannie*,
Daughter of Nettie,
Daughter of Morgianna,
Daughter of Lucy,
Daughter of Lucy.

Someone recently posted a transcription of old gravestones in a long forgotten cemetery. As is my habit at this time of year, I was searching for updated information. Tracing one's maternal line is difficult. Surnames change with each generation. Old records are spotty at best, and reflect the sentiment of the day, that a woman was her husband's property. I have a wealth of data on my paternal ancestry, because that's the way genealogy has always been viewed. It has been a struggle to find maternal data. It's been a dozen years or so since I found any new information.

I found the elder Lucy because I knew her husband's name. I know so little about her. Lucy died 04 April 1854, age 68. I now have a photograph of her gravestone. No maiden name was inscribed on it. To find her lineage, I will need a bit of luck. More and more data is coming online. Searches are easier than ever before. Perhaps someone researching her father's family will note the man she married and the lines will converge.

This Samhain, when I pay respect to their spirits, I have another ancestor to call by name.

*Am I wrong to value privacy over accuracy? These are our screen names, not our real ones.

Toona - mostly raw and totally vegan

2009-10-11T17:03:21Z

This is my favorite recipe for Toona, a vegan sandwich filling that tastes surprisingly like tuna salad.

Ingredients

1/2 c raw sunflower seeds, soaked for 6-8 hours
1/4 c raw cashews, soaked for 2 hours
2 Tablespoons water
juice of 1/2 lime
1/2 teaspoon Celtic salt
1 rib of celery, minced
1 green onion, minced
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, minced
2 tablespoons hummus*
freshly ground pepper to taste

Preparation:

Drain the sunflower seeds and nuts.
Place sunflower seeds, nuts, water, lime juice and salt in a food processor and pulse to a crumbly paste consistency.
Transfer to a mixing bowl and add celery, parsley, onion and hummus*
Add pepper to taste.

Serves 3

*omit the hummus for a totally raw food variation.

This being my last Will and Testament....

2009-10-03T17:27:12Z

This ordinary witch takes the time between the second and third harvests to face Death.

Does that thought make you uneasy? Why? We will all die someday. I don't plan to do it anytime soon. What I do plan is to have my legal affairs in order so that I won't leave a mess behind when someday I do depart this life.

Every year at this time, I review my will and make any changes that are necessary. I review my insurance beneficiaries. I make sure that my cat's designated guardian is willing to serve that role should he be called upon to care for her. I review my living will/health care proxy documents. I can face the long nights of winter much better, knowing that in the bright days of early autumn, I took care of these necessary things.

I also spend time facing Death on a more spiritual level. Have I been nurturing my life and my relationship with Goddess? Have I harvested good things, or have my efforts withered from neglect? Am I at peace with others and with myself?

All this is done with love. The passing harvest is what it is. Lessons learned become plans for next year. The first lesson in compassion is to have some for yourself.

Runes

2009-10-01T15:28:55Z

I've ordered a set of runes from lupabitch. Runes have been on my mind for a long time. The visual simplicity of the symbols attracts me. I've wanted an artisan-made set, but couldn't find one that seemed right for me until now. I'll share pictures when it arrives later this month.

I wonder if the very simplicity of the symbols makes them more difficult to read than tarot? Tarot gives you a lot of imagery to draw upon. You see the cards differently each time you read them. I wonder if that will be true for runes as well? It remains to be seen.

Sometimes, the images in my 'sight' and those on the tarot cards create a very muddled vision that gives me a headache to untangle. It's like a collage gone mad, with the layers slipping in and out of focus. I think the rune images will be easier to hold onto while I explore the spontaneous images.

I wish I had been comfortable enough to ask my grandmother if her 'sight' worked that way. She never spoke much about it with me, and it was hard to know what was the wisdom of a long lifetime and what was her gift. My mother's gift was completely different. She noticed connections and juxtapositions of things in the everyday world and saw deeper meaning in them.

The runes will be what I take with me on the inward spiral through the darkening nights. Can anyone recommend a good book or two on the subject?

Pagan and Proud in NYC

2009-09-27T01:32:56Z

Today was Pagan Pride Day in NYC.

At this very moment, I am pagan, proud, and have sore, tired feet.

This year, I made a point to celebrate the diversity of people who identify as pagan. Yes, there were gothlettes and little glitter witchlings of all stripes (primarily black and white). There were also authors and scholars. I saw Margot Adler walking about, and Donna Henes had a booth in the marketplace. I met some thoughtful Druids. There were witches in black, witches in cloaks, and witches in pressed jeans and seasonal-colored scarves, looking for the world like the suburbanites that they are. I saw familiar faces. Manhattan is huge, but the pagan community is close-knit. I've circled with many of these people before.

I was wandering around the marketplace, waiting for the friend I was meeting to arrive. I heard a singer in the main performance area doing a really excellent cover of a Wendy Rule song, so I went over to see who was singing. What a surprise, it was Wendy Rule herself! She was a last minute, surprise addition to the program. She was in NYC for Marion Weinstein's memorial service, and stayed around to play a set for Pagan Pride.

Closing ritual was especially beautiful this year. We worked a ritual for peace and harmony, for a world the way it should be. We danced the spiral dance. The power we raised was clear, slightly ragged, but STRONG. Although the season is autumn, we came together in summer's energy: primal, powerful, and raw.

happiness is...8

2009-09-23T15:46:25Z

Happiness is taking time to reflect on all the things that make me happy. Seriously. Happiness is there when you make a point of looking for it. It's so easy to fall into the general blah that passes for most people's lives. If you look for nothing, or look for misery, that's what you will find.

We're witches. We can do better than that. We can shape our own lives, Goddess willing. We don't live under the microscope of a vengeful God. The Charge of the Goddess encourages us to rejoice and to find mirth.

"Let my worship be within the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. Therefore, let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you. "

Mabon: The Second Harvest

2009-09-22T14:56:13Z

Mabon Blessings to those who share in today's celebration! Happy Autumn everyone!

Yesterday I wrote about the harvest as a metaphor for our accomplishments. Today, I want to speak about the real thing. Growing vegetables. Being a farmer.

Throughout the year, I try to eat as much locally grown food as possible. My supper shouldn't have more frequent flyer miles than I do. Ideally, my food should come from my own garden, but I live in a place where it's only possible to grow window box herbs and the occasional tomato plant.

Memories of gardens past sustain me. Oh, the tender lettuce in spring. I had so much that I used to give it away. How I remember the warm, rich scent of tomatoes growing in the sun! Eating a fresh-picked tomato in the field is a sensual, spiritual experience.

Dreams of future gardens sustain me. Next time, there will be a small orchard. A patch of grain. I want to breathe hope onto each seed before it is planted.

The gardens of my present are tended by others. By shopping at the farmers' market, at least I know the names of the farms, and have met the farmers and their employees. My produce comes from their hands to mine.

Goddess bless the farmers. May this harvest continue to completion. Let winter be a time of rest and rejuvenation. May the springtime bring gentle rains and warm days. May everything grow with abundance through the summer. May we meet again. So mote it be!

These are the farmers who sustain me. I thank you from deep within my heart.

Adair Vineyards
Gaia's Breath Farm
Kontoulis Family Olive Oil
Meredith's Bread
Migliorelli Farm
Northwoods Apiaries
Orwasher's Bakery
Phillips Farms
Pomona Orchards
Ronnybrook Farm
The Orchards of Concklin
Tierra Farms
Yuno's Farm

happiness is...7

2009-09-22T14:09:57Z

Happiness is NOW.

Fresh cider
Farmers' market overflowing with produce
A cup of spicy chai
A purring cat

Turning the season to Autumn

2009-09-22T01:41:07Z

The autumnal equinox is upon us. It 's a time of balance, and of resolute determination to finish what we have begun. The nights will soon overtake the days. We must hurry and finish what we have begun. We must reap what we have sown and nurtured through the summer. Have we provided well for ourselves, or have we let the opportunity of the year slip on past? Goddess has endless bounty to share with us, but only if we tend our gardens with love and attention. A bit of water helps, too.

I am content with my personal harvest. It has been a good and creative year. Yarn has been spun. Some has been knitted, and much has been woven. I have made peace with my loom and I have a vision for the way weaving should be. I've created community out of nothing more than a bit of yarn and the intense hunger to being surrounded by people like me. I am taking steps to live more lightly on the Earth, and I have decided to take better care of this body, for it is the only one that I shall have in this life.

How is your harvest? Have you been fruitful?

Today, I walked on the headland. As long as this place is home, I shall take myself to the sea and celebrate the seasons. The wind was a bit sharp in its urgency. I let it blow away anything I no longer needed. I pictured the future blowing in. As I turn deeper and deeper into the spiral of the year, moving from the sunlight toward the quiet place in my heart, I am looking for practical answers. HOW will I make the Indigo Spiral Studio into reality? WHERE will I find the right piece of land? WHEN will this unfold? AM I following the right road into the future? These are the questions I will take into the darkness. All these are good questions while the Sun is in Virgo. All these are good questions to be pondered on the long evenings ahead.

Bring on the falling leaves, the cold nights and mornings. I am ready to turn inward.

Writer's Block: Happiest birthday gift

2009-09-22T01:18:26Z

What was the best birthday gift you ever received? What made it so special?

View 671 Answers

September 2006.

We had Chinese takeout in the dayroom. I brought the food, paper plates and napkins. I even brought my own present that you had selected for me, a statue of the Goddess of the Greenwood. I still have her, broken and glued together again. Kind of like me.

The real gift was your presence. It was the last time we celebrated my birthday together.

The last ones were the sweetest. My birthday. The sabbats from Mabon to Ostara. Your birthday. The memories are sweet and timeless.

happiness is...6

2009-09-21T13:54:55Z

Blue skies with tiny wisps of white clouds hanging still.

Reiki. The more I work with animals, I have been surprised to find that it flows through my entire body. Not just my hands. When I cuddle and soothe a nervous cat, Reiki flows everywhere that we touch.

happiness is...5

2009-09-20T16:39:40Z

Happiness is being in the moment. This one. Right now.

The sun is shining.

I am happy about some food and healthy lifestyle changes that I am working on. More raw foods. Much less dairy. Fewer empty starches. Foregoing the second glass of wine at dinner, because then I will completely savor the first.

Of course there are books. When do I ever undertake anything new without buying a couple of books.

Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People by Jennifer Cornbleet. This is a gentle introduction to eating raw foods. She doesn't require you to rush out and buy a juicer and a dehydrator to make these recipes.

Rainbow Green Life-Food Cuisine by Gabriel Cousens, M.D. This book isn't easy, but it has a lot of recipes. Juicer and dehydrator required for many recipes here.

I would be more inclined to buy a dehydrator than a juicer. I'm not a juice person. I much prefer soup.

happiness is...4

2009-09-19T21:38:48Z

Happiness is dreaming of both my parents last night.

Today would have been my father's 97th birthday. It's hard to imagine. He was only 72 when he died.

Happiness is the memory of wonderful family times.

In the present, happiness is time spent outside in the garden, knitting.

happiness is...3

2009-09-18T13:36:06Z

Happiness is feeling appreciated. Long story that I won't go into here, but the penny finally dropped for a dear friend of mine. A few words are all it takes to make me feel that what I do is noticed.

happiness is...2

2009-09-17T14:10:48Z

Happiness is awakening refreshed from a good sleep, little brown cat still curled up in a tidy circle on the puff. I could watch her sleep for hours at a time. It's so peaceful.

Alas, the day calls me.

happiness is...

2009-09-16T14:10:12Z

From the dear Ms. Seaivy:

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for eight days without fail.
3. Tag eight of your friends to do the same.

Day 1:
September always makes me happy. It's my favorite time of year, neither summer nor autumn, but a delicious blend of the two.

Consider yourself tagged, but only if you want to be.

proof that I am not linear-minded

2009-09-14T20:30:55Z

1. Acquire lock for potting shed door.
2. Look for land on which to build said potting shed.
3. Decide to plant an apple tree, a pear tree and a cherry tree in the clearing, and think about appropriate fence to keep out deer.
4. Contemplate planting a small patch of wheat. Just imagine the harvest, the celebratory loaf made at Lammas!
2a. Look for land to clear, etc. Potting shed, orchard, wheat and fence still built of dreams.

That's just the way I think. What use is having the land unless I have a strong vision of how it will be used?

cat snuggles and leisurely breakfasts

2009-09-13T16:49:12Z

I'm back from the week at the cottage, filled with bliss and so relaxed that I make a cooked noodle look stiff. Yes, I had a good time. No, I didn't quite have a great time, but good is good.

Highlights?

Being in a community of people like me.
Lots of peace signs on the backs of (mostly hybrid) cars.
Shops that sell the kind of clothing and jewelry I wear.
Kripalu.
Down quilts and cat snuggles on cold nights. Priceless.
Time to savor every bite of food. Healthy, natural food.
Vegetarian chopped liver. (Seriously. Google it if you don't believe me.)
Crows. Lots of them.

I wish I had spent more time at Kripalu. But, I wasn't alone on this vacation, and so most activities were things we both enjoy.

Enjoying the harvest

2009-09-08T13:08:37Z

This is the harvest season in the wheel of the year. We celebrated Lughnasad in early August, and will observe Mabon on the Equinox. I am savoring the gifts of the Goddess' table. Everything is so fresh and delicious. The sweet corn is surprisingly tender, but the harvest came late this year because early summer was cold and wet. There is something marvelous about food that was in the farmer's field in the morning and on my table at sunset. There is something wonderful about seeing the farm name on the chalkboard above the baskets of produce. I always include the farm in the blessings said over the food.

Today is a personal harvest day for me. I have reason to look back at the past year, and look forward to the next. It has been a year of people. I sat in this same cottage a year ago, struggling through my first pair of hand-knit socks. I came here for sanctuary; being in a familiar place put into perspective all the unfamiliar changes. Going forward, I see a year that focuses on my growth as an artisan and witch. In other words, this path suits me, and I am glad to see it continues on.

This year, the knitting comes easily to me, and I am seeking a different sort of sanctuary, a rest from a life that's a bit too full of people. I adore them all, and have interwoven my life's thread with theirs for now, but I still need to step away and focus on the ideas that only come into a quiet mind.

I am reading Anastasia by Vladimir Megré. It's one of those books that either is or isn't fiction, and it doesn't really matter. It's a beautiful story that reminds us how far we have strayed from our true nature and how we must re-establish our connections with the land. As you know, I am looking to buy a few acres of land in the next year or so. I already have the lock for the potting shed that doesn't yet exist, so I've made the symbolic gesture towards being settled in a new place.

Taking comfort from the earth

2009-08-16T13:20:25Z

I've been fragmented into dozens of little bits. Moving office. Spending two days in an incredible art yarn workshop. (The Aerie looks like a technicolor sheep exploded here. There's colorful wool everywhere.) Helping one friend move to her own Aerie just down the road. Helping another neighbor choose a new car after hers was totaled in an accident. And one of my closest friends was made redundant at work on Friday.

The only way I can handle being so fragmented is to sit in the garden and weave on my Journey loom.

The focus here is on getting grounded. Literally. Touching the earth. Petting the grass as if it were a cat. Turning my back to the building walls and focusing on being outdoors, being in the moment.

I am weaving a small amulet from bits of art yarn that I made in the workshop. I am invoking stillness. I am weaving myself back together.

The Joy of the Harvest

2009-08-04T01:09:06Z

In years past, I baked bread for Lammas. August in New York is usually sticky, and often hot. Perfect weather for baking bread, eh?

This year, with any little exertion sending me into fits of coughing, I took a different approach to the first harvest, and decided to enjoy the fruits of the farmers' market instead.

From New Jersey, perfectly ripe tomatoes, irregularly shaped and brightly colored heirloom varieties. These taste like REAL tomatoes from the garden. Also sweet corn, small and tender ears, still cool and damp from the morning's harvest.

From New York, bread, dense and chewy, with a perfect sourdough taste. Also blueberry pie, made from large berries, and just sweetened a little bit.

On the table, my own harvest, the handwoven table runner finished at last.

I am grateful for the abundance that flows forth from the Goddess. It is a blessing. May your harvest continued to be blessed by Her bountiful gifts.

First Fruits

2009-07-29T20:31:36Z

It's nearly August, and this witch's thoughts turn to thanksgiving. Yes, we start our harvest festivals now.

We are approaching the festival of First Fruits. Some call it Lughnasad, and observe the ritual sacrifice of the God of Grain. This is a traditional chant:

Hoof and horn,
Hoof and horn,
All that dies
Shall be reborn.

Corn and grain,
Corn and grain,
All that falls
Shall rise again.

As a Goddess woman, this doesn't quite align with my views.

Goddess is abundance, generosity, sharing and nurturing. Where there is abundance, there is no need for sacrifice. We celebrate Her bounty and are embraced by Her nurturing. We use Her gifts joyfully, and joy becomes our gift back to Her.

This year I plan to celebrate by enjoying the abundance of the greenmarket, and by sharing the bounty with friends. The fruits of my creativity this year will be on the altar along with the fruits and vegetables of the season.

My personal harvest is beginning in abundance this year. I have seen once again that Magic works. I have finally found my artistic 'voice' as a weaver (and if you don't know about that, you haven't been reading my blog, Http://www.tromp-as-writ ).

I wish you the blessings of the harvest. May yours be as abundant as mine!

I took the vow. Will you?

2009-06-05T23:30:00Z